Assess your willingness / readiness to work on these essential elements of Recovery.
"In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself." - Deepak Chopra
A key aspect of healing in addiction recovery involves addressing past behaviors and their impact on relationships, acknowledging wrongs done & taking responsibility.
Reflecting on the statements below you can assess your current willingness to approach this essential step in Recovery prior to choosing and activating you Pathway to Recovery. We will revisit this assessment nearer the completion of our work together.
For now, rate your willingness to carry out the following assignments, you don't need to fill out the written plan yet.
I am willing to address the complicated relationships in my life.
Set aside dedicated time for deep introspection. Reflect on your life, focusing on past actions, behaviors, and patterns that have affected your relationships.
I am aware of who I will be dealing with.
Write down all significant relationships, noting both positive and negative interactions.
I know of many instances where an apology is called for.
For each relationship, identify specific instances where your actions, words, or attitudes caused harm or strain. Be honest and thorough.
I am willing to admit to myself there have been transgressions.
Look for recurring themes or behaviors that might be contributing to relationship problems, such as dishonesty, selfishness or lack of communication.
I could become willing to recognize poor judgement, poor outcomes and accept responsibility.
Recognize and accept the emotions associated with these behaviors, such as guilt, shame, anger or regret.
I am willing to make a comprehensive list of people that have suffered or been hurt by my addiction.
From your list above, make a comprehensive list of people you have harmed, detailing the nature of the harm done.
I already know who is at the top of that list.
Prioritize the list based on the severity of harm and the importance of the relationship.
I can imagine a variety of ways to prepare to begin healing these relationships.
Cultivate a sincere willingness to apologize and make things right where possible. Reflect on why you want to mend these relationships and how it will benefit both you and the other person.
I know who i will ask for guidance in this situation.
Consult with a trusted mentor or counselor to discuss your list and plan for making amends.
I am willing to make a plan.
For each person on your list, plan how you will approach them. Consider the best time, place and method for having this delicate and important conversation..
I am willing to be honest and take responsibility.
In this process of healing relationships, be honest about your past actions and their impact. Be specific about what you did wrong and how it affected the other person.
I believe I can humble myself to the degree that I can sit and listen to peoples' responses without becoming confrontational or rationalizing my actions.
Offer a sincere apology, expressing genuine remorse for your actions. Avoid making excuses or justifications.
I can listen and accept what I come to understand as other peoples experience of my past behavior and how it effected them.
Allow the other person to share their feelings and experiences. Listen actively and validate their emotions without becoming defensive.
I am willing to potentially make things right where I can.
Ask what you can do to repair the harm. Be willing to take concrete actions to demonstrate your commitment to change.
I will adapt my attitude to any response I get, knowing I have done my part, my best and the consequences are not in my control.
Understand that not everyone will be ready or willing to forgive. Accept their response graciously, regardless of the outcome.
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